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don Miguel Ruiz

 

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Musings of an Awakening Spirit

Stories, poetry & general musings of Rebecca Haywood, a modern-day Shaman with a penchant for bringing the divine into the human experience.

From a young age, Rebecca felt called by the mystery of life. She double majored in psychology and wildlife biology, suspecting like many, that the truth lay somewhere between our domestication and our nature.  After three years of studies and with the call for mystery growing still, Rebecca received an undeniable message to step away from her degree and to pursue a spiritual guide.  Terrified and thrilled, she quickly obliged.


This led her into a ten-year apprenticeship with a family of shamans, Mother Sarita  and her sons, Jaime Ruiz and don Miguel Ruiz.  She was welcomed into their home as part of their family and was soon asked to carry on Sarita’s lineage of healing. Under their loving tutelage, Rebecca further discovered her inherent ability to heal physical ailments, emotional imbalances, mental obstructions and spiritual stagnation.  Rebecca learned the ancient rituals of Mother Sarita while mastering the modern day teachings within don Miguel's books, lectures and his Toltec mystery school of 'Dreaming'.  Assisting them as a fellow healer and teacher, Rebecca came to develop her profound practice of intuitive healing.


Rebecca has been guiding individuals and groups through their personal and spiritual evolution for over fifteen years now. Serving clients worldwide, she offers spiritual mentoring, wellness coaching, healings, workshops and journeys.  Completing her studies as a Holisitic Health Practitioner in 2004, Rebecca also specializes in herbal medicine and nutrition.  Rebecca has lectured at several venues including The Ranch, Sierra Tucson, Teton Wellness Festival, Earth Dance, The Rape Crisis Center and The Center for Transpersonal Therapy, and is currently completing her first book.


Rebecca offers a non-denominational path that is tailored to speak intimately to one’s current process.  She believes that a guide must not hide their own humanity with a mask of the spiritual, but rather promote a marriage of the human with the spirit through an authentic relationship with her clients.  For it is Rebecca’s greatest wish that each of her clients may experience a genuine, attainable transformation that is wholly-nourishing and self-sustainable.


Read more about Rebecca's journey.

The Human Heart of the Shaman

The Human Heart of the Shaman
This weekend, as I was honoring my grandmother and teacher, Madre Sarita, for Dia de los Muertos, she came through me with such force. It is still working on me and thus I don't yet have the words. But I wanted to at least share this with you. It is the original opening to my chapter for "Shamanism in the New Millennium". I was planning on sharing it last month for the book's one-year...
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Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)
The Day of the Dead (which is actually several days) honors death in a most beautiful way. It is believed that the veil between the worlds of spirit and life is lifted, and the souls of the dead can revisit their loved ones. In colorful altars, laden with ofrendas (offerings), we invite the dead to feast, dance and sing with us. Death is an honored guest, and life is the celebration. For me,...
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Be-YOU-ti-FULL

Be-YOU-ti-FULL
“Beautiful”— it’s not just a word; it is a human value. And whether we hang out on the synonym or antonym side of “beautiful” we have all been shamed at some point (for no reason or another) AND we who have evolved through that, need to raise our voice and our beauty up to be a clean mirror for the rest!  Let’s stop hiding our beauty in the name of spirituality versus vanity,...
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Poem: Shameless Beauty

Poem: Shameless Beauty
“Shameless Beauty” Bloom endlessly In tufted rainbow Hues of you Scented With life Luring Its sight Eating More light Your saturation suffuses Your abundance bears Your love inhabits the air Be Beauty unwieldy Unyielding To their pluck Their dares To fuck How can they? Take What is not theirs? Shake What is not loose? These petals Command the wind And rise the tides No time To stop Your rains Dewdrops Drink shadows Into...
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Mountain Lion Medicine

Mountain Lion Medicine
Last week, the Mountain Lion started stalking me again. She has been my Totem for the last 22 years and probably long before that. My first encounter with her was the year before I met Madre Sarita—my spiritual grandmother and the woman who solidified my life as a shaman. That cat came face to face with me on a trail one night, and I came face to face with myself. It was the...
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Harnessing the Power of Storytelling

Harnessing the Power of Storytelling
Many spiritual seekers aim to silence the mind and frown upon the stories it tells. “I am not my mind. I am not the story.” No, but you ARE the storyteller and there is great medicine in owning this. On Shameless Feminine Speaks “Sabotaging the Sabotage”, I shared a pivotal moment of confronting my doubt. Though instead of simply telling it to shush, I commanded it to tell a story with me. “Ok,...
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Poem: "Broken Yoke Blues"

Poem: "Broken Yoke Blues"
(from my days as a restaurateur) Dimes and timesClockedChecks writtenBetrothed to anotherMy heart smittenThen bittenBy the bitterTaste of wasteGivenUntoOverOut Be still!I’d shoutThis honeyMy moneyFlowed redCalendars markedWith dreadDays pushingPaul peteringPickpocketingFray the threadOh my head! Squeeze another lemonPlease another manHand over handLast dropLast callThank youCome againPlease!GimmeI’ll shimmyBall to chainDance and wane For tipsThat dripCentsWith scentUn-sensedOf my painStakingMy heartTakingMy claimSmilingAll the same Another day done!Wipe it cleanPray for the GreenZ-outRe-runCost overdoneBut we’re in the black!Fades the...
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Our Spiritual Balance Sheet

Our Spiritual Balance Sheet
Yesterday I completed a big project for the Tax Man... seven years overdue. Ha! My cells had completely regenerated in that time! And yet I was being asked to resurrect and reconcile. Ugh and double ugh. That was my attitude. It was more than disdain for the work involved and the time it would pull from my passion projects; it was resentment. I didn’t want to go back in time, especially to a dream...
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Great Expectations

Great Expectations
“She quietly expected great things to happen to her, and no doubt that’s one of the reasons they did.” ~Zelda Fitzgerald I love this quote and the simple truth it carries. Manifesting a beautiful life isn’t just about visualizing it, nor must we be so specific about what we want to attract. Magic is born in the hearts that are open to magic, that believe in possibility, and are willing to receive it....
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Poem: "Coyote Bird"

Poem: "Coyote Bird"
Coyote birdUnheardStalking betweenThe unseenHer desert bloomsDusty plumesShed the ghostsEntombed With moonlit petalsIn winds unsettledBy broken Day’sLast raysShe turns the tidesNight spread wideStar grazingOn the rise Even stillYour trillBegetsRegretTo wailHowlingProwlingLove assailed Her feathers dropYou spin the clockAnd manThe handOf timeStallingCallingThe final chime Your eyes deemAsleep in dreamHer thirstAt firstTo be yoursUnbeknownTo the tattooed stonesMarking her doors Down come the rainsAnd she remainsCoyote birdUnheardHer desert bloomsNow golden plumesTurn skiesTo fiery fumes
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The Labor Pains of Our Mothering

The Labor Pains of Our Mothering
This post isn’t just for you mothers. I’m talking about the superpower of our maternal instinct and how we have turned it against ourselves and our relationships… How we under-mother ourselves as we prioritize another’s needs over our own, and then over-mother them into a disempowered stagnation. How it is interpreted by the masculine, sometimes rightfully so, as emasculating or smothering and throws them into fight or flight mode. How we all struggle...
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Love for Lease

Love for Lease
“I love you for free.” Yes! And yay! And let’s bring more of this to ourselves and each other! Funny thing is... there was a “For Lease” sign hanging right above this beautiful message. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud... We WANT to love for free, and freely so. Yet, many have that lease sign towering above this desire, and the terms and contracts at the ready. “Sign on the dotted line,...
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Retreat Journal: Shameless Feminine in Teotihuacan

Retreat Journal: Shameless Feminine in Teotihuacan
“And one day, all under heaven will see beautiful free women, blooming like fields of flowers...” -Ch’iu Chin Day 1-2: "Walk of Ownership" What a beautiful first day with our group of women. This trip is definitely a journey into the Shameless Feminine and the new moon has served us well. We were guided by Quetzalcoatl, the Feathered Serpent and the father of Teotihuacan, to bring all the men to him and leave...
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Getting Off the Brand-Wagon

Getting Off the Brand-Wagon
Too beautiful, too sexy, too strong— these are just a few of the “too too’s” that the wounded world asks us to dim down. And for every “too too”, there is a “not enough”. It is this “not enough” that lives in the broken heart of humanity, causing the judge to point her finger and the accused to accept her scarlet letter. This image got a “too too”. “It’s too intimidating to use...
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Sorry Not Sorry

Sorry Not Sorry
When your apology goes against yourself, your power, your truth… When it is for them, to make them feel better or right, or to win their love... When you are “sorry, not sorry” but you say it anyway. Here are five questions to ask yourself before you do the “Sorry Not Sorry”... SHAME:What is the underlying shame; is it theirs or yours? OBLIGATION:What does that shame obligate you to be? RESPONSIBILITY:Where does your...
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Summer Solstice Invitation

Summer Solstice Invitation
Happy Summer Solstice everyone! This image reminds me of a cherished painting of my abuelita, Madre Sarita. It depicted the Eye of Providence with the all-seeing eye radiating within a pyramid. (Do you see the eye here?!) I loved that painting and spent hours meditating upon it. For me, it represented the eye of the dreamer—mine and that of the divine infinite—and it opened my spiritual eyes to see beyond form and into...
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How We Remember Them Matters

How We Remember Them Matters
On this Memorial Day, as we honor those who have died serving our country, let us remember them well. For how we remember them, in a sense, is how they are resurrected within us and our life. “They live on in us.” We say these words, but we don’t quite give them the credence they deserve. They do live on in us. Through our memories, their living moments are given breath again. Their...
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Confession: A Poem

Confession: A Poem
Confession: I am divine and I am human. I am all of it. I am woman. I am little girl. I am sex. I am purity. I am none of it. I am infinite in finite envelopes with names and places assigned. But what is my address? Who do you address in this dress, these shoes that stumble that sparkle that carry me home somehow, again, awake and wanting him and Him, human...
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Shameless Beauty: A Poem

Shameless Beauty: A Poem
Bloom early Endlessly Tufted rainbow hues of you Shamelessly scented With life For life Attracting more life Eating more light Full Filling Unwieldy beauty Unyielding beauty For they dare not pluckThey dare not f*ck How can they? Take what is not theirs? Shake what is not loose? These petals command the windAnd rise the tides No time to stop This bloom made the sun  ————— Let’s stop hiding, shall we? Let’s stop trading...
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Hunting Medicine

Hunting Medicine
I am a huntress of medicine. I stalk out a need within myself or a client and then I ask Spirit to bring on the alchemy. At times, it is like a treasure hunt where one clue leads to another in an unfolding journey that requires patience and surrender. That’s how it has been this last month with the personal trauma work that I have been sharing with y’all. I had stalled out,...
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