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don Miguel Ruiz

 

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Musings of an Awakening Spirit

Stories, poetry & general musings of Rebecca Haywood, a modern-day Shaman with a penchant for bringing the divine into the human experience.

From a young age, Rebecca felt called by the mystery of life. She double majored in psychology and wildlife biology, suspecting like many, that the truth lay somewhere between our domestication and our nature.  After three years of studies and with the call for mystery growing still, Rebecca received an undeniable message to step away from her degree and to pursue a spiritual guide.  Terrified and thrilled, she quickly obliged.


This led her into a ten-year apprenticeship with a family of shamans, Mother Sarita  and her sons, Jaime Ruiz and don Miguel Ruiz.  She was welcomed into their home as part of their family and was soon asked to carry on Sarita’s lineage of healing. Under their loving tutelage, Rebecca further discovered her inherent ability to heal physical ailments, emotional imbalances, mental obstructions and spiritual stagnation.  Rebecca learned the ancient rituals of Mother Sarita while mastering the modern day teachings within don Miguel's books, lectures and his Toltec mystery school of 'Dreaming'.  Assisting them as a fellow healer and teacher, Rebecca came to develop her profound practice of intuitive healing.


Rebecca has been guiding individuals and groups through their personal and spiritual evolution for over fifteen years now. Serving clients worldwide, she offers spiritual mentoring, wellness coaching, healings, workshops and journeys.  Completing her studies as a Holisitic Health Practitioner in 2004, Rebecca also specializes in herbal medicine and nutrition.  Rebecca has lectured at several venues including The Ranch, Sierra Tucson, Teton Wellness Festival, Earth Dance, The Rape Crisis Center and The Center for Transpersonal Therapy, and is currently completing her first book.


Rebecca offers a non-denominational path that is tailored to speak intimately to one’s current process.  She believes that a guide must not hide their own humanity with a mask of the spiritual, but rather promote a marriage of the human with the spirit through an authentic relationship with her clients.  For it is Rebecca’s greatest wish that each of her clients may experience a genuine, attainable transformation that is wholly-nourishing and self-sustainable.


Read more about Rebecca's journey.

Cell-Liberating Love

Cell-Liberating Love
Truly, there is only ONE condition we put on Love: that Love is not what we are. This is what leads us to experience Love as something that we give or get, that we earn or learn, and that we must guard for fear of depletion, contamination, or the condemnation of that broken heart. All other conditions are just a variation of this outsourced, finite “Love”— different names and places in which we...
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Love ≠ Agreement

Love ≠ Agreement
This simple equation is the key to communication that adds up to communion… While I prefer to leave love undefined, mathematics (and our mind) calls us to define our variables. That’s the first problem in our problem. Love is not a variable nor is it a derivative that peaks and plunges with respect to another— to another’s opinions, another’s feelings, another’s “love”. Love is a constant, and we must set it as so. ...
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Angels Fall Into Me

Angels Fall Into Me
Chime the winds Dangled with treasures— Glass gems, sunken love-letters. Now sing, these wings Plucked from the sea, And fly their dreams through me, Through Dawn’s break —kissed awake— Blushing her refrain, Through heartbeats And city streets Slicked with rain, Through sidewalk stories —the faded glories— Of shipwrecked men. Angels fallen Falling Into me. -------Not sure this poem is done but I felt like sharing it anyway. It began with an entirely different intent....
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The Secrets that Keep Us

The Secrets that Keep Us
Most secrets become your keeper in the end. Though this certainly applies to what you guard from outside eyes, it is the secrets you are unwilling to confess to yourself that condemn your voice and your choice. What lies beneath? Before you crafted this heist of your happiness? Before your denial stepped in and constructed these prison walls? Before you embezzled your self-worth and conned your tomorrow with an “I can’t”? Who is...
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The Perpetual Diplomat: The Truth of What We Trade

The Perpetual Diplomat: The Truth of What We Trade
It’s a free country, are you? Are you truly acting as a sovereign being? Or do you negotiate your boundaries, soften your terms, and guard your ‘nation’s’ secrets with your life? Keeping the peace, are we? But what about your peace, and your piece of life? Yes, the cost is high for the perpetual diplomat. She may avoid the foreign invasion but her own soils are wrought with an ongoing conflict that produces...
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69: Never Go Hungry Again

69: Never Go Hungry Again
It’s Tatyana's 69th birthday!! Hence the title (Ha, Gotcha!) and our topic— true reciprocity and the secret to Taty’s va-va-vitality… feasting on life! Here’s the not so skinny, skinny: Hunger, it leads with a conviction misled. I’m not talking need; I’m talking want unrequited, desire denied, the yearn that begs to earn its redemption. I’m talking about the ache in the starved heart that reaches for life in tomorrows and for love in all...
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Infinity Reaching

Infinity Reaching
This depth, This Ocean, It knows not Of end, Of time’s Beating heart. It bleeds for me. It reaches across This table I set, This story I claim, This name. It spills my cup And runs up— Wards discharged Words unarmed— Defenseless. And yet Gravity’s pull, The roll Of this wave, Bows and bends To find its way— The hollowed cave, The swallowed grave Of swirling tides Beseeched. I reach To the moon’s...
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The Voyeur, the Ventriloquist, the Vampire: Who's Under Your Bed?

The Voyeur, the Ventriloquist, the Vampire: Who's Under Your Bed?
We have all imagined monsters under our bed as children, but what of the manifestations lurking within our adult mind? Who do we bring to the altar of our bed— to our lovemaking, our dream weaving? Who is watching you? Do you gaze upon your world with your own eyes? Or have they been hijacked by visitors cloaked; by views pointed and tied with their fingers? From where do your words arise? Are...
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Into Love’s Deep

Into Love’s Deep
RememberingLove’s communionThe breath unseenOf ancestors mournedNew lineages adornedA father at peaceA son rebornMothers’ medicine wovenInto dreams to be wornAnd raised on the trillOf a little girl’s delight“Happy Birthday!”The blessing took flightAnd from eyes in witnessOf two into oneSealed with a kissTheir walk long begunFar from the shallowNow So much love on this wedding day of my dear sister, Melissa, and newfound brother, Chris. This was the fourth wedding I have had the honor of...
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Tempting More: Don't Attempt It... Tempt It

Tempting More: Don't Attempt It... Tempt It
Don’t attempt more in 2020, tempt it... Seduce itwith your desire,woo itwith your love,entice itwith offerings… ...not with promisesor contracts avowed.Break them,break out!of your solutionsand resolutions endowed.Lay them down.Lay yourself downand become the offering.Become the spaceit begs to inhabit.Become the more… Unpromised,unchecked,unkept,unkempt! enlisted only in more— 360 degrees of you,of now,of always,in all ways—round n' round without stop.Crescendo without peak,alight unbroken— only wax to waneand scattered to stardust again… Become the more, darling.It...
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God & Orgasms: Surrender the Chase

God & Orgasms: Surrender the Chase
We yearn for the communion. We ache for it with a hunger that denies its tongue. Strangers in our own land, seeking home. Waves cresting, restlessly reaching— devoted to the chase but lost to the shore. But getting lost is the aim—to lose one’s self, to dissolve our edges and widen our gaze—and yet we chase the landing, the finding, and the being found.  We rattle the cage—this body, this human—and seek to...
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Kisses Upon my Soul

Kisses Upon my Soul
I catch the moments.I fall upon themAnd let them fall into me. Beyond my gazeOn the familiar,The expected,The sight fixed on my day,There they are—Imprints of Life,Kissing my Soul.
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Virginity: Leave Room for Dessert

Virginity: Leave Room for Dessert
What’s for dessert? How about ALL of it—from the desire to the delight and the yearn to return again, AND all that led up to it... including the tantalizing mystery once held in the untouched innocence of our Virgin palate. Yes, the meal isn’t over with Virginity plated and served. The promise that brought us to the table is suspended between each bite—tasting and tasted for the first time, every time. As Tatyana...
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Puberty & Virginity: Innocence Lost or Gained?

Puberty & Virginity: Innocence Lost or Gained?
Puberty and virginity-- modern society doesn’t offer these passages much reverence but does worship them as a loss of innocence never to be regained. Though the distinction unveiled by puberty can feel like a disconnect from the universal self, it isn’t the separation that our “loss” laments; it is a calling to experience ourselves as MORE— a woman blossomed, a man forged, a sexual self realized. And when we bring this point of...
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Ravenous & Ravished

Ravenous & Ravished
I want your lips on meThe way you do Like you mean itSweetly reachingDeeply takingMe Like I am yoursRavenousRavishedAnd back againAgain and againAnd all at once Like it is yoursThis momentArching its backInto forever WakingBreakingTime surrenderedMine surrenderedInto yours Your lipsWanting meThe way I do Like I mean itLike you are mineLike it is mine ForeverAnd neverAgain This is the poem I read on last week’s Shameless Feminine Speaks: “Gelded, Gilded, Guilted, & Jilted”....
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Male Sexuality: Gelded, Gilded, Guilted, and Jilted

Male Sexuality: Gelded, Gilded, Guilted, and Jilted
The masculine has not escaped the trappings of sexual shame. Though his “Virgin” may be less revered and his “Slut” less condemned, his manhood is nonetheless gelded, gilded, guilted, and jilted. In the reflection of the wounded feminine, the masculine is either castrated by guilt or abandoned as the motherless child. As a result, most men, especially the spiritual ones, walk through life with their masculine marginalized and their power diluted in deference...
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The Virgin and the Slut

The Virgin and the Slut
The Virgin and The Slut... I have been branded as both and equally shamed and revered in each— sometimes in the same night, the same outfit, and by the same mouth that begged to bed me. The iron has been held by women just as much as men. It has been wielded by preachers and gurus, and used to prod me into their chosen corral of what was “holy” or “free”, “divinely feminine”...
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The Human Heart of the Shaman

The Human Heart of the Shaman
This weekend, as I was honoring my grandmother and teacher, Madre Sarita, for Dia de los Muertos, she came through me with such force. It is still working on me and thus I don't yet have the words. But I wanted to at least share this with you. It is the original opening to my chapter for "Shamanism in the New Millennium". I was planning on sharing it last month for the book's one-year...
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Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)
The Day of the Dead (which is actually several days) honors death in a most beautiful way. It is believed that the veil between the worlds of spirit and life is lifted, and the souls of the dead can revisit their loved ones. In colorful altars, laden with ofrendas (offerings), we invite the dead to feast, dance and sing with us. Death is an honored guest, and life is the celebration. For me,...
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Be-YOU-ti-FULL

Be-YOU-ti-FULL
“Beautiful”— it’s not just a word; it is a human value. And whether we hang out on the synonym or antonym side of “beautiful” we have all been shamed at some point (for no reason or another) AND we who have evolved through that, need to raise our voice and our beauty up to be a clean mirror for the rest!  Let’s stop hiding our beauty in the name of spirituality versus vanity,...
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