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don Miguel Ruiz



Musings of an Awakening Spirit

Stories, poetry & general musings of Rebecca Haywood, a modern-day Shaman with a penchant for bringing the divine into the human experience.

Love ≠ Agreement

This simple equation is the key to communication that adds up to communion…

While I prefer to leave love undefined, mathematics (and our mind) calls us to define our variables. That’s the first problem in our problem. Love is not a variable nor is it a derivative that peaks and plunges with respect to another— to another’s opinions, another’s feelings, another’s “love”. Love is a constant, and we must set it as so. 

Alas, most minds (and hearts) invariably attempt to ‘solve’ love as a derivative of agreement. And so, let’s consult Webster to properly define our basis for agreement: “conformity”… “acquiescence”… “unity” (getting warmer)… “harmony”. There it is— harmony.

And yet, how is harmony produced but through the presence of different notes. Do you see the second problem in our problem? The mean of our meanings for agreement is a zero sum. Our definition of agreement is working against itself: conformity cancels harmony.

This is what twists our tongue and binds our heart. Whether in a first-date conversation where we strain to find our similarities (or mimic them in another kind of derivative love), or in those coffee shop debates that turn as bitter as the bean— our definitions of love as agreement and agreement as conformity, defunct the function of love: communion.

Let us restore communion to our communication by setting love as a constant, and unsettling agreement into diversity. Just as music doesn’t reach for one note, Mother Nature thrives by her many forms and guess what? We are part of Nature’s song so let’s return the harmony, the symbiosis, to our beautiful diversity!

Let’s dare to be different and agree to disagree! Let’s love each other no matter our opinions and stop interpreting another’s disagreement as a lack of love. This is the medicine that frees the voice of our heart. It’s time; don’t you agree?

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